i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
