You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
