She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
foreskin is a definite game changer
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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