Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
