If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
