So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
