I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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