hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
