New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize