i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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