There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
