I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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