I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
