you win again, gameday.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
