im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
