Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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