But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
