The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
