So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just want to make out with him forever
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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