What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just high enough for therapy.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
