I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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