also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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