dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
