A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I love you. Go after that dick
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
