She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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