i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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