it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Randomize
