On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
