I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
