? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
