dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize