on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
