ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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