she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
