just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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