so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
