Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
