You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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