Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
