Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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