i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
we're making bets on your personal life
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
