My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
