You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i would one night stand the shit outta him
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
