Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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