I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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