He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
