My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
