sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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