Where did you get a picture of my penis
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
