i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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