you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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