I wannas sexs uuuuu
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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