This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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