I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
