God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
the liver wants what the liver wants
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
