so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
