How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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