Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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