dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
