Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
