I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
