This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
God I need to hump something, right now.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
