she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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