we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
